‘Riverdale’ said goodbye in the queerest, horniest way possible and the internet is absolutely shook

We should’ve known Riverdale would go out with a bang—or two, or three, or… four.

*Spoilers ahead for the series finale of Riverdale*

The CW’s sexy, modern riff on the classic Archie Comics characters started off as sort of “teen Twin Peaks” and became a cultural phenomenon, and then proceeded to jump every shark imaginable, stretching the bounds of reality to incorporate superpowers, musical episodes, zombies, and time travel. And honestly? It was camp!

But, through it all, Riverdale‘s one constant was its fascination with getting everyone into bed with everyone else, frequently coupling and un-coupling different combinations of characters for the hell of it. In a way, it harkened back to the classic comics, which saw all-American Archie forever torn between blonde girl-next-door Betty and raven-haired rich girl Veronica.

This, in turn, inspired viewers’ tendency to ‘ship different couples, pondering which pairings were “endgame”—who would end up together—a phrase the show itself would occasionally employ, only stoking the fervent fandom.

So, surely with the finale, Riverdale would give us the long-awaited answers and tell us, once and for all, who was endgame: Was it Archie and Veronica? Betty and Jughead, a.k.a. “Bughead”? Archie and Betty?

Well, touché Riverdale, because they did answer that question after all, and the real “endgame” was the queerest, horniest thing possible.

That’s right: Archie, Betty, Jughead, and Veronica were polyamorous—or, in a “quad,” to use the show’s terminology.

So, how did we get here? Hoo boy, what a loaded question. For six seasons, the show was (more or less) set in present day. But, after an explosion granted some of our characters superpowers—bear with us—their only choice to save the town from a deadly comet was to go back in time to the 1950s, erasing everyone’s memories in the process. Sure!

The finale then opens on that timeline’s Betty (Lili Reinhart) in the present day, now an old, retired writer in her ’80s. While on her deathbed, she’s visited by an angel—who looks an awful lot like Jughead (Cole Sprouse)—who lets her revisit one day of her teen years in an It’s A Wonderful Life sort of way.

Through this plot device, Riverdale then allows itself say goodbye to every major character in the ’50s, telling us how they’d spend the rest of their time in high school, and all about their lives and careers far beyond that.

It’s here that Betty chats with resident Gay BFF Kevin Keller (Casey Cott) who calls out the apparently glaringly obvious fact that she’s been in a “quad” romance with Archie (KJ Apa), Veronica (Camila Mendes), and Jughead. Pretty progressive for them to be so open about it in the ’50s, eh?

Though the show stops just short of indulging in a four-way group sex scene, we do get glimpses of pairings within the quad getting it on: Betty and Archie, Veronica and Jughead, Veronica and Archie, and even Betty and Veronica—a major victory for the many sapphics among Riverdale‘s fandom.

The one very notable exception, of course, is Archie and Jughead. Come on, Riverdale, you couldn’t just pay off seasons-worth of homoerotic tension and just let these two bone? This is pure conjecture, but we wouldn’t be surprised if showing those two hookup was intended, but perhaps one of the actors or the network or someone objected. Alas, we may never know!

While Jughead’s omnipotent narration tells us that, post-graduation, all four main characters would go off to pursue lives of their own, you’ve gotta respect the show ultimately making its “endgame”—as far as the storyline is considered—a poly relationship. Yup, just four hot, horny people being hot and horny together.

Despite its early status as a blockbuster hit for The CW, it’s fair to say the audience for Riverdale has fallen off in the past few seasons, only really gaining wider attention online when someone would be like, “Hey, remember this show? This is how off the rails it’s gone!”

Still, news of its quad endgame traveled fast, prompting all sorts of hot takes and laughs on Twitter (or X, or whatever we’re supposed to call it). No matter what you thought of the show, the prevailing sentiment toward this final gag seems to be: Well played, Riverdale. Well played.

Check out a few of our favorite reactions below: