The dramatic story of the “ex-gay” industry’s implosion

The following is an excerpt from Lies with a Straight Face: Exposing the Cranks and Cons Inside the ‘Ex-Gay’ Industry by Wayne R. Besen out October 11, 2023. All proceeds from book sales will go to Truth Wins Out, to help efforts to fight the “ex-gay” industry.

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Weird Weekend: Journey into Manhood

Twenty-four-year-old Matt Ashcroft traveled from a small town in Ontario, Canada to the woods of New Hope, Pennsylvania to attend Journey into Manhood’s (JiM) weekend retreat. It was a 48-hour “ex-gay” camp experience, that was supposed to put him on the path to heterosexuality. 

Not long after he provided his John Hancock for a non-sexual experience, Matt heard the words he’ll never forget. “Don’t mind me if I have a boner,” a 50-year old man who Matt says “smelled like cat pee” intoned. The older gentleman was assigned to be Matt’s cuddle partner. The idea was to serve as a surrogate father, offering love and affection through touch that dad supposedly withheld. 

When the weekend commenced, lights were dimmed in a large room, creating an atmosphere of mystery and foreboding. The campers were disoriented, with their personal items having been taken from them immediately upon arrival. 

“We didn’t even have watches,” Matt explained. “We didn’t have cell phones. We had to rely on the sun to tell time. We had no sense of time. We just followed direction from the leaders that were there.”

Most of those who signed up came from stern religious communities where they had very limited access to out gay men. Far away from home, they suddenly found themselves in the forest, surrounded by similar guys with raging hormones. The pent up, closeted sexual energy, whether acted upon or not, was palpable, and lay beneath the surface.  

Matt nervously peered at his malodorous cuddle partner. They were instructed to attempt the “motorcycle position”. The much older stranger would sit behind Matt and hold him, as if they were riding a Harley down the highway. 

Awkwardly, the guys crouched into position. Matt squirmed and tried not to breathe, though his partner’s stale cat urine aroma gently wafted into his traumatized nostril. He could feel the mature stranger’s member inflating like a birthday balloon, poking and prodding into his backside. 

What kind of “straight camp” was this? Matt thought.   

Abba Dabba Doo

Arthur Abba Goldberg was out of prison and out of luck. The disbarred attorney and former Wall Street conman groped to discover the next chapter in his sordid life. He was forbidden from practicing law and banished from the financial industry, so it was unclear how he would make a living. Suddenly, like a revelation from God, it was all too obvious. 

His son had come out as gay, so Goldberg would opportunistically capitalize on his family’s situation to cash in. He recruited Elaine Berk, who also had a gay son, to pose together as “experts” who could cure homosexuality. In 1999, they started Jews Offering New Alternatives to Homosexuality (JONAH), in Jersey City, as the vehicle for their scam. 

To add a whiff of legitimacy, Goldberg authored, Light in the Closet: Torah, Homosexuality, and the Power to Change, which mostly cribbed NARTH’s fringe ideas and debunked theories. Additionally, Goldberg became the Executive Secretary of NARTH and President of Positive Alternatives to Homosexuality (PATH), a coalition of “ex-gay” groups promoting “non-gay alternatives to homosexual lifestyles.”  

In terms of viability, there was pent up demand in the Orthodox Jewish Community for JONAH’s product. The already existing “pray away the gay” programs were geared towards Christians, offering Jesus as the answer. With an increase in the number of LGBTQ Orthodox Jews coming out every day, flummoxed family members and rabbis searched for answers on how to deal with this “abomination.” Goldberg and Berk would happily fill the vacuum, unethically profiting from other peoples’ confusion and pain. 

There was one sticky problem that could potentially derail the whole scam.  The name Arthur Abba Goldberg was unique. An online search would immediately reveal that he was a criminal mastermind who had done hard time for heinous crimes. The answer to his existential dilemma was simpler than one might imagine. He simply dropped the “Abba” from his name, and became one of the seemingly countless men named Arthur Goldberg, rendering himself virtually unsearchable. With a new identity and innovative swindle, Goldberg, along with Berk, put out a shingle. The legendary conman was back in business.

 The ‘Ex-Gay’ Heyday

The discoveries could be startling. Dan Scobey would stumble upon relics from his fiancé Randy Thomas’ disturbing past. The man he loved deeply, and affectionally held hands with during our interview, had not too long ago been the chief lobbyist and former Vice President of Exodus International.    

“You know what’s fun,” Scobey told me? “When you move in with someone and you start making your own space, and you start putting some of their things away to make room for your things. You come across framed pictures of your partner in a tuxedo, and your like, ‘that guy he’s with looks so familiar. Oh my God, that’s Karl Rove. [George W. Bush’s political guru] That, goes in the bottom of the closet!’” Scobey joked.

Today, Randy Thomas (now Scobey) embodies the titanic failure of the world’s largest “ex-gay” ministry. At its peak in 2012, Exodus International had 251 member agencies. Its lobbyists strategized with the most powerful political leaders in the land. Exodus was part of the secretive Arlington Group, which was comprised of America’s most influential social conservatives. This included former Indiana Governor and eventual Vice President Mike Pence and Donald Trump’s future political strategist Kellyanne Conway. Exodus was also a member of the DC Group, the Religious Right’s B-Team, consisting of hardcore anti-gay zealots, such as Peter LaBarbera and Robert Knight. 

In 2006, the “ex-gay” industry reached its apex. Then-President George W. Bush hosted Randy Thomas and Exodus President Alan Chambers at the White House. Their role was to trumpet their “ex-gay” identity in support of Bush’s campaign to pass the odious Federal Marriage Amendment. This unsuccessful effort attempted to change the United States Constitution to ban same-sex marriage nationwide. Thomas now looks back at this epoch in his life with profound shame and regret. 

“At the time, I was so proud. I was like, ‘Momma, I’m going to the White House.’ Now I look back on it, I’m like, ‘Why didn’t you yell out? Why did you betray your community like that?’ And it’s a hard thing to think about. But I’m glad that the blinders have been ripped off, and I now, of course, support full marriage equality, and I’m going to marry a dude.”

Lies with a Straight Face: Exposing the Cranks and Cons Inside the ‘Ex-Gay’ Industry by Wayne R. Besen is available everywhere on October 11, 2023. All proceeds from book sales will go to Truth Wins Out, to help efforts to fight the “ex-gay” industry.