These playoff thirst traps make October baseball must-see for every team
From The Big Dumper to Fernando Tatis Jr, October is the best month for baseball and baes with plenty to look at for the gays. The post These playoff thirst traps make October baseball must-see for every team appeared first on Outsports.
Mark
Welcome back to Talkin’ Gaysball where we start playing “It’s the most wonderful time of the year” two months before everybody else…
There’s no way to understate how much I look forward to October baseball. It’s the month when a pastoral everyday companion shifts gears into the most intense sensory experience of the entire sports year.
And for one season, it provided a happier ending than I could’ve imagined in my most wistful dreams.
October is when baseball’s brightest stars shine on the national stage. It’s also when MLB shows off its fieriest of fire emojis for the benefit of every baseball gay’s UHD TV.
To get you in the mood for the summer game’s most exciting month, feast your eyes on these Postseason Thirst Traps for every playoff team…
Get off the sidelines and into the game
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Boston Red Sox: Ceddanne Rafaela
After a big home run, Rafaela stares at his teammates and points to his forearm to convey “ice in my veins.”
Who knew that said ice was made of frozen protein powder?
Chicago Cubs: Nico Hoerner
Those eyes. That smile. That scruff.
Never before have the Venn diagrams between “favorite team” and “instant swipe right” intersected so perfectly than they did on the day the Cubs called up Hoerner.
And occasionally he inspires photographs that should be captioned “I’m jealous of infield dirt.”
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Cincinnati Reds: Elly De La Cruz
For years, De La Cruz has been Cincinnati’s most electrifying hitter and one of baseball’s biggest fashion plates.
But it’s a truly transcendent figure who can nail the lewk when the category is “Dugout Scandinavian cosplay.”
Maybe next year De La Cruz will celebrate home runs by belting out a chorus of “Lay All Your Love On Me.”
Cleveland Guardians: Austin Hedges
No one saw the Guardians coming. At all. So if they stick around this October, we’re going to be learning about most of them as we go along.
For instance, we just learned that since backup catcher Hedges had only 180 plate appearances all season, he never had to worry about skipping arm day.
Credit: Ken Blaze-Imagn Images
We’ve also learned that Shohei Ohtani isn’t the only two-way athlete in the playoffs.
Detroit Tigers: Javier Báez
I have to admit things were looking pretty bleak for the Tigers as they blew a 15.5 game lead in the AL Central and lost five of six to a hard-charging Guardians team over the last two weeks of the season.
But thanks to a win on Saturday, Detroit just barely hung on and clinched a postseason berth.
Which means I have an excuse to post this pic again.
Sometimes the journey may be perilous but the destination is worth it. El Mago forever.
Los Angeles Dodgers: Kiké Hernández
On a team with a galaxy of stars from Ohtani to Mookie Betts to Freddie Freeman, my eyes keep drifting to the Dodgers’ veteran utilityman.
And only partly because he’s MLB’s master of the bend and snap.
Now, I’m not saying you should root for the Dodgers to win it all if you’re not from LA. There are many good reasons to cheer for literally anybody else.
But if they do run the table and repeat as World Series champs, you can take some comfort in knowing Hernández understands the dress code for the parade.
Milwaukee Brewers: Freddy Peralta
For years, Peralta has been an under the radar star on the mound and during 2025, he cemented himself as the Brew Crew’s ace, racking up an impressive 204 strikeouts.
(@fpd04____)Honestly, if I were standing 60 feet, six inches away from that hair, I’d find it hard to concentrate on the baseball too.
Should MLB ever allow pitchers to throw shirtless while standing waist-deep in a pool, the National League is doomed.
New York Yankees: Jazz Chisholm Jr.
The Gold Glove is one of MLB’s most prestigious fielding awards. But 20 different players win one every year.
Even the “best of the best” Platinum Glove is awarded to two guys every season.
Only one player in baseball history has had the swag to rock a T-1000 Liquid Metal Glove.
In mid-September, Chisholm told the Yankee beat writers, “we finally looked ourselves in the mirror and realized we’re the team to beat.” After seeing the above pic, someone should’ve asked the follow-up question: “What took you so long?”
Philadelphia Phillies: The Entire Roster
Honestly, stories like this are why the Slutty Phillies exist.
Credit: Eric Hartline-Imagn Images | Eric Hartline-Imagn Images
If you could somehow convert thirst into championships, the Phillies and the Yankees would do a full-on “Freaky Friday” body swap. And the Phils would be Jamie Lee Curtis.
All LGBTQ fans are secretly hoping for a Phillies world championship one of these years. it would be the first World Series highlight film directed by John Waters.
San Diego Padres: Fernando Tatís Jr.
Some players engage in ecstatic jersey-ripping celebrations after epic moments like a walk-off home run or a pennant clinching strikeout.
This is Fernando Tatís Jr.
After hitting a sacrifice fly.
Credit: Denis Poroy-Imagn Images
Hail to the king, baby. The next time Tatís advances a baserunner with a groundout to second, someone might need to alert the FCC.
Seattle Mariners: Cal Raleigh
My anaconda don’t…
Credit: Stephen Brashear-Imagn Images
My anaconda don’t…
My anaconda don’t…
The Big Dumper currently uses Dire Straits’ “Money For Nothing” as his walk-up music. Every time Nicki Minaj turns on an M’s game, she must ask herself, “What’s a girl gotta do…?!”
Toronto Blue Jays: Bo Bichette
Jays fans already have plenty of reasons to hope Bichette can return from a knee sprain in time for the ALDS such as his .311 batting average and 134 wRC+.
But perhaps the most important one is that it will give everyone in Canada good reason to get to the Rogers Centre as soon as the gates open. Because when Bichette takes BP, sleeves are decidedly optional.
It’s awfully gracious of Bichette to pay tribute to his adopted home city by turning his arms into matching CN Towers.
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The post These playoff thirst traps make October baseball must-see for every team appeared first on Outsports.
