Two Argentinian men went to the end of Earth to get married

In 2009, in Argentina, everything was falling into place for Alex Freyre and Jose Maria Di Bello, an activist gay couple on the brink of making Latin American history. They were poised to become the first same-sex couple to marry, their love having been “debated on television, in churches, and on the streets.”

The men met three years earlier at a conference on HIV, unaware that the moment they locked eyes would alter the course of gay rights and divide an entire country. 

Argentina legalized civil unions in 2005, pioneering the movement in the hemisphere. But marriage equality seemed deadbolted in Congress. Over 90% of the population identified as Catholic, and Roman Catholicism is the official religion of the state despite protections for religious freedom of expression. 

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In other words, the Pope often carried more sway than the presidency. Thankfully, their constitution neither legitimized nor condemned gay marriage, a loophole Freye and Di Bello pounced on when they applied for a marriage license.

Shockingly, a city judge in Buenos Aires permitted it. 

At the time, Argentina’s national policy defined marriage as “between a man and a woman,” a stance the country’s Catholic church rallied around when news broke out about the couple’s marital pursuit. 

At worst, one bishop called the marriage “an attack against the survival of the human species,” while other church officials took a softer tone and said gay couples should be satisfied with civil unions.

The church called upon Mayor Mauricio Macri to appeal the judicial decision, but he refused to impede progress, boldly stating that Argentina should lead the way in marriage equality in the region. Even Pope Francis, who was then the archbishop, lashed out at Macri for endangering “family values” but failed to intimidate him. 

In a public statement, Macri added that government officials should “safeguard the right of each person to freely choose with whom they want to form a couple and be happy.” He faced retaliation from opposing political parties and homophobes, including his name plastered on posters of men kissing. 

The couple, both HIV positive, chose December 1, World AIDS Day, for their civil union ceremony, attended by a dozen friends, as well as a crowd of gay activists and curious onlookers.

Unfortunately, the night before, a national judge halted the ceremony from proceeding. Instead of walking down the aisle, Di Bello found himself waving a bouquet of roses to the press, surrounded by his guests, passionately asserting that all LGBTQ+ rights were in jeopardy if he couldn’t marry.

The couple planned to appeal the decision to the Supreme Court and were willing to go to the end of the Earth for each other. So that’s exactly what they did, specifically, Ushuaia, in Tierra del Fuego province.

Although they had the support of the mayor in Buenos Aires, they needed an ally in power willing to fight for them. 

Argentina’s National Institute Against Xenophobia and Racism (INADI) helped find a friendly jurisdiction for the occasion, which propelled Tierra del Fuego Gov. Fabiana Rios to welcome the country’s first gay wedding. He said gay marriage “is an important advance in human rights and social inclusion and we are very happy that this has happened in our state.” 

So at the Southern tip of the border, on Monday, December 28, 2009 – less than a month from their original date – Freyre and Di Bello became husband and husband. 

“What can’t happen is that this becomes a one-off,” said Freyre, whose knees were excitedly shaking. “We may have won our battle, but we don’t want to be the exception.”

The couple’s lawyer and other gay activists would go on to aid gay couples around the country with the same wish. And to no one’s surprise, family values stayed intact. 

Marriage equality became such a hot societal topic that it finally came to its head at the Argentinean Senate on July 10, 2010. The governing body took 15 hours of debate, “going deep into the night and into the early hours of the morning.” The outside courtyard was filled with demonstrations from both sides. 

By a vote of 33 to 27, Argentina became the 10th country in the world to legalize same-sex marriage. A groundbreaking first for Latin America, preceding the United States by five years, the love shared between two men was powerful enough to move the mountains of governmental and social change.

Of course, it wouldn’t have been possible without allies willing to stand out of the way or offer their shoulders.