What is “homie head” & how gay is it?
A time-honored tradition dating back centuries
Mark
Do you remember the show Rescue Me? Of course you don’t, because it was a terrible, toxic mess that has not survived the test of time. But it brought into view an important, complex topic the queer community is still talking about to this day…
When Mike, a younger firefighter, starts receiving regular head from his roommate on Season 3, the show has to go way out of its way to illustrate that this is absolutely no homo, it’s just bros being bros, nothing to see here at all! Mike’s roommate agrees, saying: “It’s just bl*w jobs.That’s barely even considered sex nowadays.”
In 2006, this argument somehow passed muster. But today, in a more informed—and much gayer—era, we’re pulling back the curtain on this phenomenon, known colloquially as “homie head.”
How about we take this to the next level?
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@freakchristian don’t knock it til you try it
#fyp #fypシ #fypシ゚viral #bestfriends #friends #gay #lgbt #bi ♬ original sound – chris
Homie head, for the uninitiated, is exactly what it sounds like. It occurs when you give head—or presumably, other body parts—to a your friend, without it being weird or even particularly intimate. And yes, straight people do it, too, and so do lesbians! One woman—known on TikTok as “homie head girl” has been on a crusade to normalize homie head for years, and we thank her for her brave service.
@alsonotanita we love to see it #homieheadgirl ♬ original sound – anita
@allieusknows Replying to @ALLIEUS (Alias) She Give Out Homie Head
#explorepage #viralvideo #allieusknows #homiehead #homie ♬ original sound – ALLIEUS (Alias)
Now, I know what you’re thinking: this sounds messy!
For the gays, it’s a recipe disaster on the level of what Chappell Roan describes in “Casual.” But in an age where more people—straight, gay, bi, and pan—seem to desire convenient sex, a homie who can provide this service without making a big deal about it is a friend indeed.
If you see the phrase “normalize homie head” popping up more than usual on the old FYP, it’s probably because of these brave TikTok crusaders who will stop at nothing to make sure that homie head becomes an accepted part of modern society. We salute them!
But alll this discourse is making us wonder—maybe we should create a new sexuality that is neither gay nor straight, but simply horny. Because the important thing about homie head is that it does not discriminate.
That said, if you’re engaging in this glorious tradition with a same-sex friend who swears up and down that they aren’t gay… that might be a problem. But don’t worry, there’s a solution: just explain to them that everything is actually, secretly gay, homie head being the least of it!
If they’re not buying that line of logic, be sure to remind them that homie head is actually a time-honored tradition dating back to the Romans, and also the earliest days of Reddit. Fifteen full years ago, one Redditor took to the r/lgbt subreddit to ask one of the great philosophical questions of our century: if I let my gay roommate give me head, does it make me gay?
Related
Turns out the Romans had a whole lot of names for sexual roles, and one’s really taking off
When in Rome?
The responses were varied. From “it makes you as gay as you feel” to “it makes you attracted to getting bl*w jobs” to “changing a pipe doesn’t make you a plumber,” people weighed in on this important debate. But the finest comment of all really cut to the heart of the matter.
“My fellow redditors, we are missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle: at any point during these encounters was the ancient and powerful charm against transformation into a homosexual uttered?” One commenter fearlessly asked. “I of course am referring to the foolproof recitation of the sacred words ‘No Homo.’ Otherwise, I fear that the gay may have very well had a chance to have taken root and it is only a matter of time before the change occurs, the hunger floods over you, and you take your first victim. Probably in a public toilet or something but really that’s not the important bit.”
There you have it: getting head from a same-sex homie may or may not be gay, but according to the internet, it’s definitely worth a shot.
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