Mike Johnson’s week is off to a humiliating start with these twin screw ups

As November inches closer, Mike Johnson’s desperation is somehow becoming even more palpable, especially after a one-two punch of epic mess-ups this weekend.

Last week was unusually busy for Johnson, who headed to Albuquerque to stump for Tr*mp’s latest pick, congressional hopeful Greg Cunningham.

Speaking to prospective voters at River City Brewery, Johnson didn’t choose to harp on Cunningham’s policies or beliefs, some of which come straight from a notoriously anti-LGBTQ+, pro-life church. Instead, he focused on what he and Tr*mp really care about: Cunningham’s burly good looks.

Politics, but make it gay!

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“Look at him Mikey,” Johnson said of Cunningham while doing his best Tr*mp impression. “He’s so handsome, he’s so strong…Mike he’s a lot bigger than you.”

Johnson’s foolhardy allegiance to Tr*mp at all costs hasn’t exactly been a mystery: the guy loves power and will humiliate himself to be in proximity to it. I’ve Had It podcast’s Jennifer Welch called the moment “something I could dive into, Freudian-style, for hours.” She’s not the only one.

But the Speaker of the narrowly Republican-held House appears increasingly desperate to hold on to his majority, and it’s starting to backfire. Because not only did Johnson’s appreciative stump speech get him roundly mocked, his later Newsmax interview was even worse.

On Saturday, Johnson spoke about the danger of “crazy people” running for office in seemingly another panicked bid to keep his majority. There was just one problem: at the exact moment he referred to the problem of mad would-be kings being able to run for office, a photo of Tr*mp and Howard Lutnick appeared on the screen behind him.

“It’s not unlawful for crazy people to run for office,” Johnson said. “That’s happened throughout the history of our country…Never at this level, and never the number of people who are so determined to rip the Constitution in half.”

As he referenced the violation of the Constitution, viewers got to take a good look at an image of its chief violator seeming to contradict Johnson’s entire, fully made-up point.

Whoops!

To be fair, it’s not a point that’s too hard to pick apart. In Tr*mp’s attempt to limit mail-in voting—itself an obvious constitutional breach—Johnson sees his last path to holding onto power in the House. Like many of the MAGA lifers currently jumping ship, he sees that the midterms are going to mess with their death grip on the country. He knows that if the midterms go the way they’re predicted to go, with Democrats potentially sweeping the House and Senate, his time in the spotlight could soon be at an end.

“They will impeach the president on the first day,” Johnson nervously warned swing voters last week.

Don’t threaten us with a good time!

Though considering how often he uses that spotlight to embarrass himself and his bosses, that might not be such a bad thing. Spending some much-needed time off to touch grass and get back to monitoring his son’s p*rn intake could just the thing to give Johnson his soul back…if indeed he still has one.

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