From celeb cameos to secret throwbacks: All the Easter eggs we spotted in Madonna’s wild Confessions II film
'Confessions II - The Film' is more than a visual album.
Mark
While Madonna’s career became synonymous with rise of MTV, she has no plans (as of yet) to make a music video for her upcoming album Confessions on a Dance Floor II.
24 hours after taking over Times Square with a 6-song performance as part of Grindr livestream, the Queen of Pop debuted Confessions II – The Film at the Tribeca Film Festival.
How about we take this to the next level?
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It was during a Q&A with Anderson Cooper after a screening of the wild short movie that Madonna said the word “video” sounded “cheap.” “It was good when it was just MTV and me,” she told the sold-out audience.
On Monday, the 67-year-old pop icon shared the 13-minute film which features green lasers shooting out of women’s crotches, a slew of celeb cameos including Sabrina Carpenter, Honey Dijon, and longtime friend Debi Mazar, bathroom stall hookups, sweat gay dance club sequences, and callbacks to some of her most iconic imagery.
Confessions II – The Film
Helmed by directing duo Torso, the film starts out with a lingerie-clad Madonna, looking not dissimilar to Louise Oriole from “Bad Girl”, mouthing the lyrics to “I Feel So Free” as a group of camera-wheeling storm troopers break into her room. They aren’t here to hurt her, only to film her even more up close.
As she’s completely surrounded, Madonna says: “But out here on the dance floor, I feel so free.”
We then cut to a futuristic forest where Madonna puts a twist on the “Bedtime Stories” lyric “let’s get unconscious” by proclaiming, “everything begins with consciousness.”
She then maneuvers throught a minefield of women sprawled on the grass emitting green lasers from every hole in their nether regions. Hate when that happens!
After that, we jump to “What It Feels Like for a Girl” territory as we are seeing the point of view of someone behind the wheel of a car weaving in and out of traffic.
The erratic drive ends in a crash as we see the protagonist make their way from the wreckage and into a thumping warehouse party as the camera storm troopers following behind.
Then with a flip of the hair, it’s revealed to be Julia Garner in a shortTrue Blue era blonde do and pointed black cone bra. Madonna yet again making reference to Garner being cast to play her in that ill-fated biopic.
Once inside the club, the celeb cameos start coming fast.
First we have Sabrina Carpenter joining to sing “Bring Your Love,” while Madonna gets flipped through the air. Carpenter keeps it on the DL by literally crawling on the floor of the club. No boy toy belt or wedding dress in sight though. Instead, her outfit and styling give “Girl Gone Wild” vibes.
Next up we see a long-haired blonde strutting toward a co-ed bathroom and then beelines it for a hand dryer that’s been turned up. Iconic Desperately Seeking Susan/”Into the Groove” moment when Madonna uses one to dry out her pits.
Only this time it turns out to be… Kate Moss!
After a quick glimpse of the stragglers in the bathroom, we see Kate again drying her hair as it morphs into Madonna herself. The Queen is decked out in a ratty blonde beehive and a Bedtime Stories era baby blue dress.
After hooking up with a musclebound clubgoer in a bathroom stall covered with Grindr graffiti, Madonna turns the place into a dance party featuring Odessa A’zion, Gwendoline Christie, Benedict Cumberbatch, Honey Dijon, Debi Mazar, electronic artist Arca, English footballer Cole Palmer, and Richard E. Grant.
Did we miss anyone???
It’s in this sequence, wherre Madonna makes reference to being discovered after a club DJ played her single “Everybody” at Danceteria back in 1982.
Saltburn hottie Archie Madekwe plays the DJ as Madonna slips him a cassette tape while singing the lyrics to “Danceteria,” one of the album’s new tracks. “He played my tape Everybody. This is how we start the party.”
There’s a scene where Madonna dances while being watched by Colombian rapper Feid as screens surround him.
The clip ends with one last cameo: the one and only Lourdes Leon.
Madonna’s first born appears as the ringleader of the camera storm troopers as she walks through as her camera-clad minions drink champagne, take baths, smoke, kiss, and engage in different acts of pleasure in a reference to Madonna’s too-hot-for-MTV video for “Justify My Love.“
Oh, and we would be remiss not to note the bananas, a playful nod to Madge’s song “I’m Going Bananas” from the Dick Tracy soundtrack.
Madonna appears on the screen and then Lourdes says, “Cut bitch.”
And it ends.
So what does it all mean? Who the hell knows. But it’s Madonna and one helluva ride!
See the entire video, er, film below:
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