Mega-hunk Jack Schlossberg trolls JD Vance yet again… with a twist
Schlossberg won't stop dragging JD Vance and we love it
Mark
Kennedy scion Jack Schlossberg instantly won our hearts after a video of him singing “Ticket to Ride” went (deservedly) viral last year. Since that time, our hearts have grown ever fonder with each new TikTok he uploads, especially the ones in which he takes it upon himself to drag JD Vance to absolute filth.
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It’s become a welcome genre on TikTok at this point: when you hear the words “Hey JD,” you know Schlossberg is about to deliver another trolltastic masterpiece.
Politics, but make it gay!
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Back in April, Schlossberg posted a video asking the eyeliner-loving Vice President to meet him outside a pumping station, because Vance is “so full of sh*t” that only a pump could clean him out. Truer words were never spoken!
This month, Schlossberg has treated us to even rarer delights. After showing us the sultry results of his summer buzzcut, he returned once more to the pumping station to give Vance a piece of his mind.
“Hey JD,” Schlossberg begins. “I’m at the pump, and you’re the one guy I know who can give me some relief at this pump.”
He continues: “I’m filling up right now, so I’d just like to show you what it’s like to fill up right now.” Explaining that we, the people, need Vance to “pump us with relief,” Schlossberg continues to drag Vance for all he’s worth.
He’s talking, of course, about relief from rising gas prices. What did you think he was talking about?!
There’s simply nothing better than a beautiful man roasting a complete and utter demon, and Schlossberg’s TikTok presence proves this beyond a shadow of a doubt. At once a masterpiece of trollery, a calling out, and a piece of cultural commentary on the price of gas (too high!), Schlossberg’s latest bid for Vance’s attention is a modern masterpiece.
But I know what you’re thinking… is Schlossberg queer?
The truth is, we don’t know! But what we do know is that he’s firmly on our side, delivering kind of unwavering allyship that we could stand to see more of right about now. Reacting to the announcement of the renaming of the USNS Harvey Milk, Schlossberg recently gave Pete Hegseth a dressing down in no uncertain terms.
Schlossberg stays speaking truth to power, and for that, we salute him. He knows what the best cultural commentators knows: when you’ve got trolls in the White House, you’ve got to give them a dose of their own trolltastic medicine.
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