The incestuous world of luxurious house-swapping amongst Hollywood power gays just got the ultimate makeover compliments of American Horror Story kingpin Ryan Murphy.
In 2022, Murphy, 58, and husband David Miller purchased a Bel Air home built by renowned mid-century modern architect Richard Neutra, which fashion designer Tom Ford previously bought and gutted more than 20 years earlier.
How about we take this to the next level?
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While Ford completely transformed the home to his specifications and allegedly modeled Gucci stores at the time with the same sleek modern aesthetic, Murphy wanted to put his stamp on the property in order to turn it into his primary residence extravagant personal office.
“When I went to look at it on a sweltering August day in 2022, it struck me that this landmark needed a big swing à la the one Ford gave it,” Murphy said in the new issue of Architectural Digest. “I intended to use this jewel box of a building as an office and entertaining space, and it needed a new perspective.”
After more than a year and thanks to the handy work of interior designer Trevor Cheney, Murphy’s opulent workspace is ready for its close-up. For the over-the-top reveal, Murphy called up a star-studded line-up of actresses to narrate the video tour which is worthy of its own limited-series.
Curating muses from his litany of projects like AHS, Dahmer, and Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans, Murphy enlisted Demi Moore, Sarah Paulson, Angela Bassett, Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Neicy Nash-Betts, Chloë Sevigny and Diane Lane to add their ASMR-like voiceovers to the tour which plays out like an 11-minute guided meditation of the ultimate in real estate porn.
“Ryan Murphy’s 25-year career in Hollywood has been built around two foundational properties, a devotion to beauty, and a belief in conflict, pairing things, people, and ideas that shouldn’t go together, and yet, when the alchemy is right, magically do,” Moore begins as the camera pans up a long winding driveway.
“Inside, once passage has been made through the minimalist hallway of walnut paneling and terrazzo, one is catapulted into a tour de force living room, instantly recognizable for its floor to ceiling sliding glass doors,” Paulson describes the lavish interiors with just the right dash of drama.
But it’s Sevigny who steals the show with a narration that almost seems like a parody of herself in the vein of the viral stylings of out comedian Drew Droege’s ingenious videos impersonating the Academy Award-nominated actress.
If you’re not familiar with Droege’s Chloe impressions, check out his latest and be prepared to laugh anytime you hear “Good evening, America!“
Now back to the real Sevigny’s actual words in the video tour.
“In the den, Jamie Wyeth’s ‘Emperor of Chickens, where a young gentleman farmer referees a cock fight is made even more whimsical by the placement of a 1980s Norwegian armchair in a strange pretzel shape,” Sevigny says without satire, we think.
She continues: “In the home office, guarded by a San Sebastian by Nicolas Party, a 1974 monumental Nakashima desk made for Governor and Mrs. Rockefeller glows Ligurian when paired with a 1984 Joe Goode cloud painting, and a sculptural figure from Mark Ryden’s ‘Meat Show’ series.”
Are these actual sentences or just fancy words? We don’t know and don’t care. It’s all just audible gold!
Watch and, more importantly, listen to Murphy’s entire 11-minute home tour featuring the Emmy-worthy vocal stylings of Demi Moore, Sarah Paulson, Angela Bassett, Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Neicy Nash-Betts, Chloë Sevigny and Diane Lane below. Sevingy’s narration begins around the 7:30 min mark.
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