Queerty

Ted Cruz shares his thoughts on what women want in bed and the internet has thoughts

Ted Cruz talking "weenies" was not something we were waiting to hear.

Mark

Dec 20, 2023 - 19:00

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Ted Cruz shares his thoughts on what women want in bed and the internet has thoughts

A cringe-worthy clip from a speech Texas Senator Ted Cruz gave recently has gone viral online.

Cruz was among the speakers at Turning Point USA’s annual America Fest conference. Other speakers included Vivek Ramaswamy, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Roseanne Barr, Donald Trump Jr, and Alina Habba, a lawyer for Trump Sr. Yep, it really was the cream of the MAGA crop.

Cruz took the stage yesterday in Nashville, Tennessee. At one point in his speech, he attempted to mock the anger felt by many on the left. He said they were always “p*ssed.”

“By the way, if you were a Liberal woman, and you had to sleep with those weenies, you’d be p*ssed too.”

Ted Cruz says liberal women are unhappy and pissed off all the time because liberal men don’t satisfy them in bed. pic.twitter.com/Som7PPLrpK— Ron Filipkowski (@RonFilipkowski) December 19, 2023

For many, the comments conjured images in their mind they did not welcome.

Sure.

What ALL women want is Ted Cruz’s beady-eyed slow-Ewok face two inches from theirs, twisted up in hedgehog ecstasy as he ruts like a rusty piston for two minutes before shouting Trump’s name and landing next to them in a sweaty shame ball.— Jay Black (@jayblackisfunny) December 19, 2023

Yes of course, the public booger eating, mom jeaned, jowl merkin’d & mulleted Dollar Store Wolverine Cosplayer with the penis proboscis knows better than anyone how to satisfy a woman in bed.
All these years practicing on Donald Trump haven’t been in vain after all. pic.twitter.com/a8OOymB9kT— Jo (@JoJoFromJerz) December 19, 2023

Ted Cruz just mentioning sex made me vomit a little in my mouth. — Art Candee (@ArtCandee) December 19, 2023

Others did not take bedroom advice from Ted Cruz seriously at all.

Ted Cruz talking about being satisfied in bed is hysterical! pic.twitter.com/OnzdArRAgr— Laurie (@Laurieluvsmolly) December 19, 2023

Lmao Ted the only time you please your wife is when you leave the house— Bill DeMayo (@BDeMayo) December 19, 2023

I am pissed off about a lot of things. None of them is my sex life! — AntifaPuddin’Pop (@Andie00471) December 19, 2023

Let’s ask Ted’s wife what she thinks of his game… pic.twitter.com/3i2ljzEAKh— Meme Genes (@toddlambert) December 19, 2023

Ted Cruz—who proudly endorsed a man who called his wife ugly—says liberal women are pissed that they have to sleep with “weenies.”

What a small, weak little man. pic.twitter.com/fYvioIh3HC— Lose Cruz (@LoseCruzPAC) December 19, 2023

“Poopy pants”

Elsewhere in his speech, Cruz took aim at President Biden. Referencing his age and wellbeing, Cruz suggested, with zero evidence, “We have a president of the United States who, his team carries extra pairs of pants with him when he travels in case he has poopy pants.”

Yes, that’s the level of political discourse we’ve sunk to, now.

Last night, Cruz was among Republican figures howling about the Colorado Supreme Court’s decision to boot Donald Trump from the GOP primary ballot in the state.

The 4-3 historic ruling drew upon the 14th amendment “insurrection clause” and pointed at Trump’s role in the January 6th storming of the capitol.

“This ruling is garbage,” Cruz confidently whined on X. “This WILL be appealed to the Supreme Court & the Supreme Court WILL reverse it. To every Dem & media outlet saying ‘save Democracy,’ this is a test:

“Will you denounce these partisan judges trying to PREVENT THE VOTERS from choosing the next President?”