Teddy bears, fresh poppers & …their husbands?! Gays share the most unusual items they take on vacation

Packing for a gay-cation requires more than suitcases and toiletries.

One must unlock their full imagination! You never know when you’re going to need a stunning group costume, or the instruments to clean yourself out. PrEP is shorthand for being prepared, after all.

With the summer travel season in full swing, we asked Queerty readers to name some unexpected items they can’t leave behind when they’re boarding a plane or packing up the car. Some responses were sensible, while others were more eccentric. And we would expect nothing less!

How about we take this to the next level?

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While particular vacay accoutrements may vary, bringing along a playful mindset is non-negotiable! Grab a tropical drink–a frozen marg for us, please!–and read the whimsical replies…

What is the most unusual item that you can’t go on vacation without and why?

“My sound machine, set perpetually to White Noise. Even in a quiet atmosphere, I can’t fall asleep without it on. I suppose I could set it to ‘ocean waves’ but then that would be redundant!” — Roger in Palm Springs

OK Roger, humble brag! We want to stay at a fancy beachfront hotel with an ocean view, too! With your sound machine on, we promise you won’t even notice. Indeed, many people struggle with sleep on vacation, due to jet lag, an unfamiliar environment or all those shots of tequila. When you’re tossing and turning, sound machines can have a lulling effect.

However, it’s worth noting the research is inconclusive. Some studies show sound machines carry little benefit.

But hey, there’s nothing wrong with a little placebo. You’re on vacation, after all!

“Earplugs are an absolute necessity — for the airplane, for the hotel… and I’m always surprised that more people don’t do this. I bring enough to share, and people are often very grateful.” — Pete in New York

Well Pete, aren’t you the most popular guest on your floor! For all of our circuit queens, we’d also like to suggest bringing earplugs to the club. It only takes 15 minutes of unprotected exposure to all of that “unc unc” music for one’s eardrums to go a poppin’.

“Stuffed elephant Ollie.’ My husband gave him to me 9 years ago when I went to Tel Aviv by myself for a volunteer mission as my companion/protector. He must travel with me ever since.” — Michael in Laguna Beach/Palm Springs/Maui

.My teddy bear.” — Will in Toronto

But wait… these answers are soooo cute ????????????. There is established psychology that shows cuddling teddy bears and other stuffed animals provide comfort, especially for young children. The original product of a political cartoon that mocked President Theodore Roosevelt over his discomfort with targeting a restrained bear on a hunting trip (true story), stuffed teddies starting finding their way into people’s homes by the 1930s.

We’re heartened to see Will and Michael keeping up the tradition in their adult lives. We love innocence.

“A strap-on. I’ll usually bottom, but if I meet a total bottom, I want to pleasure him. — Johnnie in Suburban Chicago

We said innocence, Johnnie! What happened to our furry friend?

????????????

“My electric travel douche!” — MMD in Manila

Serves us right. Since our trip is once again back in the gutter, we feel obliged to say that an electric travel douche probably comes in handy when meeting a certain kind of bear…

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“My new LGBTQ+ puzzle book, Queer Pride Puzzles Volume One! Best travel partner ever! Great for flights, cruises, poolside, beach, you name it!” — Kerry in Garland, Texas

We love a good game night! Otherwise, our brains will atrophy from staring at Instagram.

“I travel a lot and NEVER leave home without a framed photo of our dogs (and my hubby if he’s not with me) and a mini Lord Ganesh statue to enhance the room decor. I also always pack a travel-size white noise machine to keep distracting noise from disturbing my sleep…or that of guests in the next room ????” — Philip in Kaua’i

Philip’s response embodies many of our themes: cuteness (framed photos of the dogs or hubby); travel-related insomnia (noise machine); humble brag (noise machine). But seriously: we appreciate Philip’s courtesy. In a world where people watch videos on full volume without headphones in public, his consideration for others is appreciated.

“Expired plastic membership card. Many hotels have card slots near the entry door, in which you insert your room key card to turn on the lights and air conditioning/heating. When you remove the key card to leave the room, the systems turn off. In order to keep the room temperature cool in summer and warm in winter, we take an expired plastic membership card to leave in the card slot.” — Rich in San Francisco

Rich, you’re a genius, baby! It’s sooo annoying when you can’t keep on the AC or heat while you’re out of the room. It looks like we’ve found another use for our Costco card, which is always good news! (For those curious in travel hacks, Redditors say any plastic card will typically do the trick.)

“A 2-inch thick foam mattress topper. I can’t sleep without a soft bed so I bring the softness with me wherever I go. It fits in a medium-sized roller suitcase. A good night’s rest makes everything so much better!” — Michael in Portland

It’s always important to bring your own softness. Though we will say, two inches usually isn’t enough for us when it comes topping. ???? 

“Fresh bottle of poppers. Ya never know what the hook up is going to be like.” — Ed in North Carolina

It sounds like Ed is preparing for more than two inches. And no, before you ask, poppers are not permitted in carry-on luggage. You’ll have to buy them once you land. Thankfully, VCR cleaner is readily available in most gay resort towns. It’s a throwback to another time!

“Night creams and beautiful underwear.” — John in Tucson, Arizona

Oh la la! Throw on your beautiful undies of choice, and prance around the room like the doll you are!

“A husband. They pack bags, push them, organize flights, accommodation, organize things to do, pay bills, do the dreary details and then unpack.” — Stan in Chicago

Wow, is that what a husband does? We want one! How much per hour?

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