10 of the gayest things in Disney World
Maybe the Disney gays were on to something?!
Mark
Gay or straight, Disney World — a.k.a. the Happiest Place on Earth — does not discriminate.
Last weekend, I made the trek to Orlando, Florida, where I visited the House of Mouse’s massive 43 square mile resort property for the very first time, alongside my boyfriend and LGBTQ+ friends-slash-chosen family.
Between its four theme parks, two water parks, hotels, and Disney Springs shopping district, the entertainment giant has its cartoon gloves wrapped around the Sunshine State, and it’s understandable why: The hospitality masters are seasoned pros in the art of a good time.
Although our visit didn’t coincide with Gay Days, the LGBTQ+ community’s unofficial and annual theme park takeover, we had no trouble finding queer joy (and chaos) throughout our jam-packed 72 hours.
As Disney World gears up for its busy holigay season, here’s 10 of the gayest things we saw at the parks.
1. The bulking biceps in the Indiana Jones show
Explosions, precarious predicaments, three-story falls, and that thrilling theme song. Since 1989, the long-running Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular! — located at Disney’s Hollywood Studios — has been one of Disney World’s can’t-miss live shows. An expert team of actors and stunt performers recreates on-screen gags from Raiders of the Lost Ark on high-production, moving sets (including that infamous boulder), while slowing down their speed to give audiences a behind-the-scenes look at movie magic.
That said, the most impressive part might be the literal muscle behind the entire performance. When an especially hulking hunk named Nate was introduced to our audience, the gays screamed just as loud as the girls.
2. Glenn Close’s cameo
The newest attraction at Disney World is Guardians of the Galaxy: Cosmic Rewind at EPCOT, the theme park giant’s first-ever reverse-launch coaster. If you can get over its lengthy wait time (which often exceeds 90 minutes), you’re going to have a good time on the well-themed and fast-paced joyride through the cosmos, which rotates a full 360 degrees.
Although I certainly outed myself as a homosexual cinephile to the 8 a.m. park-hopping crowd when I uncontrollably screamed when Nova-Prime Irani Rael, a.k.a. Glenn Close’s character in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, appeared in a video introducing the ride.
3. This King Triton statue
I don’t know who had the hot bright idea to erect a statue of The Little Mermaid‘s resident daddy, King Triton, outside of Ariel’s storybook ride in Magic Kingdom, but I can’t thank them enough.
A highlight of my trip was when a heterosexual father, noticeably waiting for his daughters outside the restrooms, noticed our group of five grown gay men attempting to take a selfie with Triton and offered to take a pic for us. That’s LGBTQ+ ally behavior!
4. All the seasonal decor
No one understands the importance of decorating for the holigays like the House of Mouse. Despite the 80-plus degree temperatures, nearly every corner of the Magic Kingdom was decked out in autumnal leaves, Mickey Mouse jack o’ lanterns, and pumpkin-spiced desserts. Plus, the omnipresent Halloween theming also meant that Disney’s long list of queer-coded villains — including Jafar, Ursula, and Captain Hook — were well-represented throughout the park.
5. Drinking Around the World
@mega.awroo.bane Drinking around the world at Disney’s Epcot park with my man be like #epcot #drinkingaroundtheworld ♬ original sound – Enrique Llamas Jr
Thanks to TikTok, the new modus operandi for navigating the World Showcase at EPCOT is to drink around the world. Basically, you pick one of the eleven nation pavilions — my group started in Mexico — and go from country to country, engrossing yourself in the cultural displays and more importantly, downing one of that location’s signature adult beverages.
It’s a tough mission to accomplish in the Florida heat (and surrounded by inexperienced and oft-color-coordinated bachelorette parties). And while we only managed to eke through seven nations before a dinner reservation summoned us to Canada, it was a great excuse to fill up our itinerary — and drink a margarita and frozen Viking Iced Coffee back-to-back.
6. This Emperor’s New Groove merch
The hottest new merch craze taking over Disney gays’ personalities (and draining their wallets) is the shoulder plush pals. These tiny, soft, and several-inches-tall characters come with a magnetic pad, allowing theme park attendees to mount them on their shoulder and walk around with their new friend.
Of course, the most queer-coded option felt like Kronk’s shoulder angel and devil duo from The Emperor’s New Groove. How come the dude with the red horns always wins out when it’s time to decide whether you should order another hard seltzer?!
7. Dole Whip
It’s not a trip to Disney without Dole Whip, the park’s signature and much sought-after soft-serve. Located at Aloha Isle in Magic Kingdom, the frozen treats are available as pineapple, coconut, vanilla, or swirled flavors in cups and floats.
Not only is it a refreshing way to beat the heat, but you know what they say about pineapple juice!
8. This duck in Disney’s Hollywood Studios
I knew my gays-only expedition through Disney World was off to a good start when I noticed this well-dressed (and fruity-coded) duck in a store window on day one. I know I’ve seen this exact outfit before, and it was almost certainly on a demon twink en route to Fire Island Pines.
9. The Cheshire Cat Tail
My biggest regret is not trying a bite of this delectable and phallic-shaped pastry, filled with sweet cream and chocolate chips, that my BF purchased from a cute shack in Fantasyland in Magic Kingdom. The best part? The cashier wished us both a very merry unbirthday.
10. Toy Story Land
Please hold the Woody jokes.
Without a doubt, an absolute highlight of our trip was Toy Story Land in Disney’s Hollywood Studios. From the sneakily delicious Grown-Up’s Lemonade at Woody’s Lunch Box, to the deceptively thrilling Slinky Dog Dash coaster, and the gamer-gay-friendly Toy Story Mania! carnival ride, we had the best time reacquainting ourselves with childhood nostalgia.
In chosen families, there’s no sentiment quite like, “You’ve got a friend in me.”
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