Colton Underwood talks about locker room homophobia & how he met his husband

"If you look for a second too long, you're being called a f*ggot.”

Mark

Jan 19, 2024 - 19:00

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Colton Underwood talks about locker room homophobia & how he met his husband

Former football player and reality TV alum Colton Underwood has given an interview in which he talks about dealing with homophobia during his brief sports career.

Underwood, famously, tried to convince himself, and the rest of the world, he was straight by participating in the hit show The Bachelor. He came out as gay in 2021, at the age of 29.

Underwood chatted to the YouTube channel StyleLikeU. He took part in its ‘What’s Underneath Masculinity’ series.

Before his reality TV show fame, Underwood was signed in 2014 as a free agent for the San Diego Chargers and then for the Philadelphia Eagles practice squad. He then joined the Oakland Raiders’ practice squad in 2015 but was released later that year.

He recalled experiencing locker room homophobia during his time as a player.

“I’ve got called a f*ggot. I got called gay. I got called queer. If I wasn’t dating somebody at the time, it was definitely even more. It’s like, when you’re a successful football player, you’re supposed to be dating the cheer captain.

“You’re supposed to be dating a hot woman, and you’re supposed to have her on your arm after games, and if you don’t have that, it gives people permission to ask why. And, it just made me that more motivated, and made me work that much harder to blend in.

“Homophobia is very real in locker rooms,” Underwood continued. “The locker room culture is so confusing for a straight man. You go from moments of obviously showering naked together, commenting on dick sizes, and slapping asses to, if you look for a second too long, you’re being called a f*ggot.

“Then ‘no homo’ comes out. And, it’s just, like, for somebody who’s questioning their sexuality, like, what do I do?

“It was terrifying”

“I think the biggest misconception with locker rooms for queer men is, like, it’s not sexual,” Underwood said. “If anything it was terrifying. In the back of my mind I was, like, ‘The worst case scenario that could happen, is, like, I actually get turned on in this moment.’

“But, I think I was so scared that that emotion overcame any other emotion that I could possibly have. It’s just the fear of being in the locker room.

“In high school I was, you know, sort of, bouncing from relationships, but like, exiting before it became physical.

“College was easier for me because I can compartmentalize. So, I was telling people in my college that I was seeing somebody back home, and I was telling people at home that I’m seeing somebody in college, and I’m not ready for ’em to meet.”

He recalled being in football locker rooms at the same time when footballer Michael Sams came out.

“What people see, was, like, ‘Oh, the NFL supported him.’ But, what I experienced was gay jokes, left and right. People saying ‘it’s a circus,’ ‘it’s media,’ ‘he’s a clown.’ All of these things. And, it just drove me into the closet even more.”

However, like so many people before him, he says the fear of coming out did not match the reality.

“As much hate as I’ve received online, and backlash, and whatever you wanna call it, I haven’t had that experience in real life. Like, nobody’s ever came up to me, and looked me in the eyes as a human being, and said any of the negative things or the bad things that they’ve said to me online.”

Falling in love and marriage

After coming out, Underwood certainly seems more at ease with himself. He made a Netflix show about embracing his sexuality… and he quickly met and married. He and his partner, Jordan C Brown, wed last May at a ceremony in Napa Valley.

Talking to StyleLikeU, he talked about how he met Brown

“We met randomly at, like, this party, and then two months went by and we were on the same trip in P-Town, and it was like magnets. I was very upfront that, like, I had not had an emotional connection with a man, and it was still a very physical experience for me, not emotional. And, we hit it off immediately.

“I was still on a journey of self-discovery when we met, for my own self. I was very upfront with him on that. And, like, I’m still a work-in-progress, and he loves me for all that I am and all that I will be. He told me that.

“And, I think it was in that moment that I’m like, ‘Oh, there’s a lane for me in this community’.”