Finding peace, not compromising, having your own bathroom: Gays share the best parts of being single

The beauty of relationships involve sharing life with other people. But some only wish to have a companion on their terms.

All the single ladies! All the single ladies! Now put your hands up!

American society pushes marriage, an intrinsically conservative institution. Married spouses save money on taxes, healthcare and housing costs, and enjoy myriad of rights and legal advantages.

Perhaps most importantly, they enjoy social cover. With the legalization of gay marriage over the last two decades, queer people now feel the creeping expectation to exchange vows themselves.

How about we take this to the next level?

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But some of us don’t want to. And that’s OK!

In this space, we’re celebrating individuality. Or at least, those who cherish their autonomy.

We recently asked Queerty readers the best parts of being single. Here’s what they had to say…

What is the best part of being single and why?

“Both the best and worst part of being single is being by yourself! You can live exactly how you want — make your bed, or not; go out, or not; start drinking early, or not. 

“This does mean you need to get comfortable in your own company and be a little disciplined about being tidy. But it also means that what you do each day, work commitments aside, is all down to you. And there is a lot more variety out there in terms of hookups than when you are in a committed, monogamous relationship.” — Adam in Melbourne, Australia

Adam lays out the equation well, with perfect grammar to boot. We go feral for a man who knows how to use a semicolon! As Adam says, the key to being content as a single person is enjoying your own company. And yes, there’s also the possibility for a variety of hookups. We’re sensing a humble brag…

“Being open to any career opportunity that arises, and uprooting my life in pursuit of my own goals without needing to consider or consult a partner about finances, homes, children, or shared goals/desires. Just following my own dreams!” — Hank in Connecticut

With average Americans expanded to work 12 different jobs in their adult lives, there are definitely professional plusses to keeping your options open. Some people also relish the sense of adventure. If Hank doesn’t want to consult anybody else about life-changing decisions, then we say staying single is the right move!

“It’s the best part and can also be the worst part… There’s no one to tell you no when you have an idea to try. “ — Tom in Wilton Manors

It sounds like Tom is speaking from experience. Hopefully nobody was harmed…

“No ball and chain to be considered in any decision making.” — Scott in Parksville, British Columbia

“Not having to compromise on every single decision especially if you are not in sync with taste in food, people, places, you name it.” — Dante in L.A.

“What am I eating for dinner tonight? Whatever the hell I want. What am I doing this next weekend? Whatever the hell I want to do. How is my kitchen organized? Exactly how I want it. Whose input do I need when purchasing my next vehicle? Just mine.” — Michael in Tacoma, Washington

There’s nothing wrong with being a little selfish! Every relationship requires some sort of compromise, with long-term romantic partnerships demanding the most. If you’re not down to be part of a unit, then single life is the right choice.

With that said, healthy relationships allow for space. Compromising on “every single decision” isn’t the sign of a fruitful partnership. It indicates that one partner always gets their way!

“I used to be a serial dater and was always cycling through boyfriends. I was attracted to the idea of having someone more than the actual someone if that makes sense. It was hard and draining to keep relationships going that I didn’t really want. I feel much lighter now. Maybe I’ll find the right person, but maybe I won’t. That’s OK.” — Sebastian in Oakland, California

Thank you for sharing, Sebastian. Those are poignant words. Even though people are now single for longer, there’s still pressure to settle down with someone. But if the relationship is a force, every day will feel like a chore… or worse. That’s no way to move through life.

Millions of people stuck in unhappy marriages would agree.

“Not sharing your place with anyone. The toilet and bed are all yours. You are free to do whatever you want to do. You don’t have to worry about doing some things that might be a turn-off to your partner. You also don’t have to live everyday with your partner’s annoying behavior and habits.” — Jess in Manila 

Jess’ remarks appear to be pointed at a particular person; but we will say that, in general, having your own toilet is a wonderful luxury.

“Not being accountable to anyone! It’s my life, my hookups, my rules.” — Colton in Jersey City

We admire Colton’s candor. Go off, Bachelor King!

“I was in an incredibly toxic, abusive relationship from age 24-29. I’m now almost 34, and have been single since that relationship ended. The best part for me is the freedom and peace I feel now. I’m still healing and learning to love myself, and will dip my toe into dating again one day. But for now, after years of chaos and heartache with my ex, I truly cherish my peace, and the life I am grateful to live these days.” — Chase in Georgia

We’re so glad you’ve found your peace, Chase. That’s what life is all about.

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