How to flirt across language barriers (and still end up naked)

So you’re traveling overseas — or north or south of the border — and you want to get laid.

How do you overcome the language barrier?

From Montreal to Mexico City to Europe, where a Babel of languages covers the continent, getting your point across in another tongue can be daunting.

While English is the closest thing to a universal language around the globe, you can’t count on your object of desire’s familiarity, let alone proficiency, with how we talk in the U.S.A.

Since you’re visiting them, it’s on you to make an effort to speak their language.

Here are some tips to flirt across those language barriers and still end up naked.

1. The other universal language: nonverbal signals

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You’re up in the club and spy a guy down the bar that’s just your type.

Make eye contact and hold it for a beat longer than usual — then glance away with a smile. This is an almost universal show of interest.

If he returns the smile, make your way closer and be aware of your body orientation. Turn yours toward him and lean in a little.

“Gentle mirroring” is a time-tested way to create rapport with someone you’ve just met. Mimic their posture to put them at ease.

Smile! A warm, relaxed one communicates openness even when words might fail you.

Of course, if the setting and culture allow, the tried-and-true crotch grab (your own) is another universal signal you’re very interested. 

2. When you speak, keep it simple

When you’re speaking with someone in a language you’re not proficient in, use basic, direct words and phrases that you’ve practiced beforehand, like: “You’re handsome,” (“Tu es beau” in Paris), “I like you,” (“Mi piaci” in Rome) or “Dance?” (“¿Bailamos?” in Madrid).

Use these openers early. They show effort and make you approachable. And even flubs in another language can be endearing.

Avoid using idioms, slang, or culturally specific jokes that may not translate well in the moment. You don’t speak their language.

3. We have the technology

If you’ve ever found yourself on the apps chatting with a user who doesn’t speak English, maybe you’ve test-driven Google Translate in your effort to get laid. That tactic translates just as well IRL, and can be a form of high-tech bonding.

Break out your phones and use Google Translate in conversation mode to get a clearer idea of what makes your potential date tick, and to clarify precisely what you’re both after if hand gestures alone don’t do the job.

Translation apps can also help bridge gaps for quick clarifications, especially about boundaries.

If you are on the apps overseas, Grindr, Scruff, and Hornet come with preferences that allow you to set your profile blurb in multiple languages. But be up front about the limitations of your skill with their language when you do make a connection.

4. Another universal language: touch 

Like other nonverbal signals, touch is something we can all relate to.

A light touch on the arm or shoulder after you’ve made a verbal or nonverbal connection can confirm your interest and amp up the sexual vibes.

Let your quarry mirror your touch back. If they lean in or reciprocate, it’s usually a green light; if they pull back, put the brakes on.

5. Share something before sharing everything

Finding ways to relate by not relying on language is another way to get familiar with a potential hook-up.

Dancing, walking, or sharing a drink or a meal allows you both to connect in a low-pressure, nonverbal environment.

Ask if they’d like a drink (“Willst du trinken?” in German) or to get something to eat (“¿Quires comer?” in Spanish) and let your shared beverage or meal do the talking.

Or stretch your legs and take in the sights if they agree a walk would be fun (“Wil je wandelen?” in Amsterdam).

Music is another universal language you can share without words, and it’s as easy as asking, “On danse?” (in French). 

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6. Read the (Spanish, German, Dutch, or Italian) room

In different countries, flirting between men can be subtle or overt — The Boiler in Berlin has a different vibe than a friendly cafe in Seville.

Read the room wherever you are to pick up clues about how men who have sex with men interact. Applying your cultural norms to other countries can raise your risk of rejection or worse.

7. Make your intentions clear, despite your limited language skills

Misunderstandings based on poor communication across a language barrier can be cute or maybe difficult. Use all the tools at your disposal to make your intentions clear, and get the best idea you can of your potential date’s desires in the process.

Be upfront if it gets there about your health status, and theirs; both your sexual likes and dislikes; and everybody’s boundaries.

When you might be talking past each other in different languages, that Google Translate app could be a lifesaver.

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