Out college football player turns years of hiding into a film for LGBTQ athletes
Treamelle 'TJ' Taylor just finished his college football career at Rochester. He's now producing a documentary about LGBTQ people in sports.
Mark
Treamelle “TJ” Taylor never liked standing out from the crowd.
Growing up in Ottawa, Canada — the son of a former Canadian Football League player and a Vietnamese mother — Taylor found through football “a built-in friend group” that gave him a sense of camaraderie that he described to Outsports as “a brotherhood.”
It gave him a connection to his father that had been a hard to grasp growing up.
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“It was the one thing we finally had in common and could bond over because, outside of football, we don’t really talk about anything,” Taylor said about playing football. “It’s kind of ironic because I’m the third or fourth ‘Treamelle’ and there were a lot of expectations.
“It helped our relationship, but I felt like I had to almost conceal my whole identity. I wanted to please my dad. I wanted his approval.”
Suiting up alongside dozens of other athletes in the scrutinized machine that is a high school football team in North America let him feel like one of many as early as the eighth grade.
Football became a passion for Taylor in a way that dance and gymnastics had previously been for him, prior to putting on the shoulder pads.
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Excelling on the football field
Taylor proved to be a talent on the field, earning All-City honors twice during his high school football career and joining the University of Rochester’s football team in 2022.
He played defensive back for the Yellow Jackets for four years and continues working toward his dream of playing in the CFL, just like his dad.
The most important thing for him playing football at an early age was the sport’s ability to help him “blend in.”
“I’ve always known I’ve had anxiety, but I recently got diagnosed with it, as well as OCD and ADHD. I would disassociate.
“I’ve learned how to cope with it, but I still struggle with being self-conscious and thinking people are judging me.
“It stems from growing up and having to be self-aware of the way I’m presenting myself. My younger brothers always allowed me to be myself, but I know that when I displayed characteristics that were more ‘feminine’ or deemed ‘for girls,’ it would stress my parents out.
“I remember to this day overhearing them arguing about how I was supposed to be a boy. I enjoyed ‘boy’ things, but I also enjoyed playing Barbies with my cousins. I had to conceal all of that, and it made me paranoid about drawing attention to myself because then people would see that I wasn’t straight.”
Taylor remained closeted to varying degrees throughout his childhood and into college, coming out as bisexual to selective people he felt he could trust.
That process got ramped up earlier this year when a relationship with another man hit a bumpy road at the worst-possible time: the same morning he met with his coach to discuss playing his final year of eligibility with the Yellow Jackets.
“I came out to him last season and told him how I wanted to advocate for queer athletes, that I didn’t want others to experience what I did.”
Taylor said that his coach informed him weeks later the team didn’t have a spot for him next season.
“When I found out later that the team was moving on without me, it rocked my world.”
The “brotherhood” he found through football also enhanced the message that he had internalized from an early age.
Casual homophobia that is all too common in men’s locker rooms impacted Taylor. It reinforced messages he’d heard from an early age that made him feel like being bi was something to be hidden.
“I always thought it had to be one or the other. I could play football and have that camaraderie or live as my true self.
“Even to this day, I feel that way to some degree. But it also gave me a desire to advocate for Black queer athletes like me and break the cycle of concealing everything about me.”
The combined heartbreak of that period proved to be a catalyst for Taylor. He remains at Rochester as he works on his masters degree in accounting.
He continues training to hopefully play in Canada. Yet he is taking up the mantle of “advocate” as well.
“It may sound dramatic, but I’m so tired of explaining myself. You can either support me or I’m not sticking around.
“It was so exhausting having to constantly feel misunderstood and conceal parts of me. I want to use my life experience and these negatives for a positive goal.
“I’m done waiting for this perfect role model. I’ve got nothing to lose.”
Producing a documentary film higlighting LGBTQ athletes
The first step in that advocacy path for Taylor is a short documentary film he has just released via YouTube and social media highlighting LGBTQ inclusivity in sports.
The film encourages younger gay, lesbian, bi, trans and queer athletes to live authentically. It also aims to help others understand the role that allies play in changing the landscape as LGBTQ athletes break down barriers.
Featured are interviews with coaches and players from every sport played at UR, a fact that Taylor is especially proud of.
It also represents Taylor stepping into the role that he didn’t have growing up. It’s a role that now gives added meaning to him continuing to play football and chasing his CFL dreams.
“A big reason why I want to continue playing football is that I want to walk the talk,” Taylor said. “It’s so easy to say that you can be an athlete in football and be out and proud, but it’s harder when you’re actually in that situation while still playing.
“I want to show people that you can still be in your chosen sport and be open with all parts of who you are.”
You can follow Treamelle “TJ” Taylor on Instagram.
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