However, the discourse didn’t stop there. Even in the wake of a Beyoncé drop, there’s been a steady stream of lewks, hilarious TikToks, books, and boys to engross ourselves in.
The biggest story of the week might just be Beyoncé’s cover of “Jolene,” featuring an intro by Dolly herself calling out “that hussy with the good hair.” And while Queen Bey puts a more aggressive spin on the would-be-homewrecker classic, the spirit behind Parton’s 1973 hit remains. All women with auburn hair be warned!
Dolly is certainly cognizant of how powerful her most-covered song is. She even dropped a well-timed merchandise collection in honor of the track’s belated 50th anniversary, featuring a “Please don’t take my man”-emblazoned shirt ($40) and crewneck ($75), as well as a classic Live 1977 Tee ($40) and vintage live poster, going for $20 on her official store.
2. Gay Easter Cards
Image Credit: Etsy
In curating this week’s column, I wondered out loud a lá Carrie Bradshaw, “Does gay Easter even exist?” Yes, it’s a religious holiday akin to Christmas. But because there’s far less pageantry involved, I worried LGBTQ+ capitalism may not crossed over to the decor market.
Boy, was I wrong! I’m amused to report that you can score two different packs of Gay Easter cards on Etsy ($18.68 for five). There’s an uncanniness to these chiseled hunks touting chocolate eggs and flexing next to rabbits. Nevertheless, whether you’re an avid churchgoer, navigating a complicated relationship with religion, or just a chocolate aficionado, it’s nice to know these cards exist.
Kelly Clarkson (and her powerhouse vocals) are singlehandedly saving daytime TV. The original American Idol is once again dominating our television screens as a talkshow host, but there’s no denying each episode’s highlight is the music.
In her appropriately titled Kellyoke segment, Clarkson covers modern pop songs with such authenticity, dedication, and vocal intensity that her rendition of “Wide Awake” had Katy Perry joking, “I can never sing that again.” Still, my recent fave is her take on KT Tunstall’s gripping 2004 hit “Black Horse and the Cherry Tree.” Woo-hoo, indeed.
4. Martini Time Embroidered Hat
Image Credit: Uncommon Goods
As the recent survivor of a bad haircut, I’ve never understood the power of a good hat until now. That’s not to say all caps are created equal –– and this is in no way an endorsement of casual fedora-wearing.
I’ve found the best hats are usually solid-colored and simple, with a little bit of personality. Case-in-point, this seemingly queer-targeted martini cap ($30 at Uncommon Goods) which even has “Tini Time” stitched on the back. It’s so cute that I’ll be returning to it, even after those awkward “growing-back-out” weeks pass.
5. Comedian Stephen Brower ranking the most dateable Easter candy
Queer comedian and actor Stephen Brower –– who’s currently in Broadway’s Lempicka –– is one of my all-time fave social-media follows. He typically offers thirst traps and enlightening commentary on what birds, board games, and breakfast cereals he would date.
His latest TikTok about the romantic appeal of Easter candy is egg-specially hilarious –– and has me hankering for some Cadbury.
6. Beyoncé sparking a fight between Uber & Lyft
Lyft is now offering 50% off rides on 3/29 following Uber’s partnership with Beyoncé for ‘COWBOY CARTER.’ pic.twitter.com/3yxncm0u29— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) March 28, 2024
In the latest example of brands gone wild, the two biggest rideshare apps got into a fight on social media while vying for the patronage of Beyoncé’s fans. It all started with Uber, who revealed –– via a ridiculously hyped-up announcement –– that they were offering 16% off rides in honor of “16 Carriages.” After Lyft’s sassy social media manager replied, “Crumbs were left” on Twitter X, another user suggested they better the deal. So, the company did just that, announcing fans could get 50% off rides through the same period. Got ’em!
Personally, I think we’ve let brands get way too unhinged on social media. But to quote the Cowboy Carter singer herself: “You know you that b*tch when you cause all this conversation.”
7. Criterion Collection faves
Image Credit: Criterion Collection
Queerty fave Joel Kim Booster recently shared his “famously terrible taste” in movies for a recent interview with Criterion Collection, picking out his favorite titles from their elite catalogue of films. (Don’t listen to the haters! Your picks were great, Joel!)
Image Credit: Getty Images/@russelltovey on Instagram
From Looking to American Horror Story, and most recently Feud: Capote Vs. The Swans, I’ve been crushing on Russell Tovey for years and years. Or should I say ears?
In response to recent internet thirst over his lugholes –– that’s British slang for “ears,” innit? –– Tovey took to his Instagram Stories to pitch his followers on potential merch: a tee reading “Russell Tovey’s Ears Are My Kink.” Oh boy! Judging by the resounding 99% of dudes who voted “Yes” in approval, it sounds like he’s got a lucrative idea on his hands. Time to hit up Shark Tank!
9. Pastels for spring. Groundbreaking.
Let’s cut to the chase. It’s springtime, and you’re going to need some cute, low-effort (read: no iron required) shirts as you prepare to re-enter society post-hibernation. I know florals and pastels are cliche during this season, but they’re typically a fail-safe lewk.
Thankfully, these slim-fit button-downs (on sale for $18.40 at Target) come in a variety of colors, plus big and tall sizes. We will pray to Miranda Priestly –– Meryl Streep’s floral-hating Devil Wears Prada character –– for forgiveness later.
10. Long Live Queer Nightlife: How the Closing of Gay Bars Sparked a Revolution by Amin Ghaziani
It’s no secret that gay bars are important community hubs –– and unfortunately closing in droves across the country. On top of that, judgment and a yearning for a different kind of connection has scared a generation of queers away from walking into their local clubs.
But that doesn’t mean that the party is stopping, especially for those who know where to look. It’s a world that author Amin Ghaziani dives into in his new book, $29.95 via Princeton University Press. Based on evenings in London and more than 100 interviews, he documents “a dazzling scene of secret parties” where “episodic, nomadic, and radically inclusive [club] nights are refashioning queer nightlife in boundlessly imaginative and powerfully defiant ways.” From the safety of my couch, I’m living through him vicariously!
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