Eating the forbidden fruit: Why are gay men still so drawn to guys on the DL?

There’s something about DL guys that excites the gay psyche.

Mark Mark
Dec 31, 2025 - 19:00
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There’s something about DL guys that excites the gay psyche.

But… why?!?

That’s a question many gays have tried–and failed–to answer over the years. The latest attempt came via the appropriately named “@CybrTwnk” on X. “why would anyone ever want a DL man.. what is the appeal,” he posted.

How about we take this to the next level?

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The simple inquiry garnered thousands of impassioned reactions, ranging from the amused to outraged.

“dl men are for the gay boys who wanna feel like girls…” said one particularly cruel, yet possibly accurate commenter.

DL guys are an indelible part of gay lore, with their headless torsos popularizing Grindr grids across the world. With gay sex more accessible than ever, the number of DL guys “experimenting” with other men is ostensibly at an all-time high.

Cruising no longer requires surreptitious late-night trips to the park or roaming around skeevy bathhouses. All one needs is a smart phone and thumbs!

Then–voila!–an entire city is at one’s sticky fingertips.

And finding the forbidden fruit can be especially sweet. We often fantasize about who we can’t have: celebrities, gym crushes, friends’ boyfriends… friends’ ex-boyfriends! The same thinking extends on both ends of the DL trade.

For the DL bro, it’s hooking up with another guy. And for the secretive among us, it’s hooking up with a “straight” man.

It’s all fun and (dirty) games, until the toxicity comes into play… like poor hygiene (flushable wet wipes exist for a reason) or an offensive taste in politics.

In the aftermath of November’s election, some gay men started outing their “DL trade” as Tr*mp supporters.

That’s not part of anybody’s fantasy!

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A recent study found that 3% of men in hetero relationships report being attracted to the same sex. But due to societal pressures, they feel stuck in “straight jackets.”

One temporary escape is DL sex with other guys. But what happens on the down low often doesn’t stay beneath the surface. The secrets always come out, leaving behind a trail of “shattered women…” and used gay men.

The fantasy of DL hookups is usually more fun than the reality. In our imaginations, the encounter is secretive and scintillating. Maybe it happens late at night in a 5-star hotel, or early in the morning at a gym sauna. The other guy is almost always some sort of ephemeral power-broker: perhaps a business exec or politician or athlete.

But in the physical world, the meeting is… stilted and awkward. There is a lot of tension, and stumbling around dark and cluttered bedrooms. The other guy is almost always different than his blurry abs would indicate. We don’t know who he is, but we can say one thing for certain.

He is definitely not an athlete…

With gay acceptance at an all-time high, there’s no need to chase DL guys. If they’re married with kids, that’s their problem to figure out.

Remember: the forbidden fruit is forbidden for a reason!

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