Yankees broadcasters have a lovers’ quarrel in booth. And look at the muscles on this player.

Welcome back to Talkin’ Gaysball where awkward silence is our favorite Yankees broadcaster.

In my first column of the season I proclaimed that all of our reality TV loving sports gays should tune in to “The Real Dodgers of Los Angeles?”

Turns out I might’ve picked the wrong coast.

If you’re looking for bruised egos, hurt feelings, and catty drama, it might be time to switch over to “Yankeepump Rules.”

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During last Friday’s Yankees-Cubs game at Wrigley Field, their occasionally prickly play-by-play man Michael Kay and analyst John Flaherty began discussing the Wrigleyville neighborhood.

Within seconds, their conversation had me wondering how I missed the news that the YES Network had hired Plane Jane and Amanda Tori Meating.

“You weren’t very talkative on the bus this morning to the field,” Flaherty needled his partner, “but as I was driving here, I was thinking it’d be great to get a place that’s close so you could walk back and forth…But I just had a lot of time to think on the team bus today because it was  just very quiet.”

Flaherty’s jibe seemed like a bit of harmless needling to fill a bit of airtime during a lull in the game. It happens a lot during the long season and great broadcasters know how to make stuff like this fun.

But if the Yankees have one rule, it’s “never let fun get in the way of taking yourself too seriously.”

“So you’d rather me be chatty?” Kay spat back at his partner, “I wasn’t feeling great.”

“I haven’t seen you in a long time,” Flaherty continued, “You don’t work road trips anymore when I’m on the road. So I thought we would catch up but it quickly was evident you weren’t in the mood…”

Sadly, this was the moment we discovered the YES Network did not have the “Woman Yelling at a Cat” meme on standby.

“Interesting narrative that you’re putting together,” Kay responded. “Because I’ve been told by executives that you prefer to work with [backup announcer Ryan] Ruocco. That’s why you two guys are matched up all the time. That’s just what I heard, I don’t know if there’s any truth to it!”

Flaherty decided to go there. “I just put it together that the road trips you don’t want to go on, I end up working with Ryan Ruocco,” he responded, “because we’re willing to work the games on the road.”

We were now about two seconds away from Kay responding that it was going to be hard for Flaherty to make his next road trip.

If you’d ever wondered what a roast battle would sound like between two guys who have never told a joke in their lives, now you had your answer.

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Before Kay could flip over the table in the Wrigley broadcast booth, Gleyber Torres grounded out and forced him to briefly focus on his job. After which, he complained, “Listen, John, I don’t pick out my schedule! I go where I’m told!”

That led to 13 seconds of incredibly uncomfortable silence, during which every Yankees fan must have wondered “Are they broadcasting inside a bus right now?”

Finally, Kay broke it with an icy, “I’ll be very chatty tomorrow.”

To which we respond: only if you want the biggest ratings of your career.

The pair have since hugged it out on air and Kay has blamed his reticence on a bout of vertigo. But there was still a lot of dirty laundry aired and two more weeks in the season.

During that time, the Yankees might want to change the name of their postgame show to “Untucked.”

MLB Thirst Trap of the Week

I’ve been holding on to this one for a while, partly because I’m more of a face gay than a muscle gay.

But after this week’s TTOTW walked off the Orioles on Wednesday night, it’s time to give the people what they want.

My fellow baseball gays, behold …Tyler O’Neill!

The Red Sox promotional calendar includes Pride Night, Bobblehead Night and Star Wars Night. But as you can also see, every game at Fenway Park is Arm Day.

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