Kash and burn? FBI Director sues for $250M after alleged “Poodle Room” benders go public
Kash Patel has been on a major losing streak of late.
Mark
Like so many of the remaining MAGA mainstays in Tr*mp’s cabinet, Kash Patel has been on a major losing streak of late.
In February, he left on a jet plane to play beer pong with the Olympic men’s hockey team… on the country’s dime. As if that wasn’t enough, he then tried to make his own “K$H” branded merch take off, but it didn’t have any takers, especially after everyone learned just how poorly the FBI director had handled Charlie Kirk’s death. To whit, he was so busy joyriding on the FBI’s private fleet of jets that he caused a pilot shortage that directly impacted the team’s ability to investigate Kirk’s death properly.
It’s called sh*tting the bed, and we’ve seen it from so many now-ousted MAGA troglodytes from Steven Bannon to Pam Bondi to the most recent Tr*mp casualty ICE Barbie Kristi Noem. But where Kash Patel is concerned, the reason for the crashout is much darker, even though most of us could see it coming a mile away.
Before the weekend, calls were coming from across the political spectrum to remove Patel from office. But they were less about how poor of a job he’s been doing and more concerned with what many fear are the FBI director’s very public struggle with alcoholism.
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A new report from the Atlantic goes deep into Patel’s alleged hard drinking sessions and poor job performance, and it took precisely three seconds for Patel to respond to the bombshell article with a $250 million defamation suit leveled at the publication, accusing it of peddling “obviously fabricated allegations” and calling the whole thing “fake news” and a “hit piece.”
The article details how Patel is allegedly “often away or unreachable” during work hours, causing mayhem among staff and undermining the efficiency of the bureau. It appears the cat’s out of the bag, and it’s not a good look for Tr*mp’s DOJ.
Patel is stomping mad and fervently denying the allegations laid out in the article, but even without the Atlantic’s deep dive into Patel’s many f*ck ups, it wouldn’t exactly be a secret. We all saw him guzzling beers in the locker room at the Winter Olympics.
“We’re all just waiting for the word that Patel is officially out of the top job,” Atlantic writer Sarah Fitzpatrick reports after detailing Patel’s late nights, disappearances, and frequent hangovers that pose a risk to his fitness for the job, as well a general national security risk.
Since the start of his tenure, Patel has been “known to drink to the point of obvious intoxication, in many cases at the private club Ned’s in Washington, D.C., while in the presence of White House and other administration staff,” Fitzpatrick writes.
“He is also known to drink to excess at the Poodle Room, in Las Vegas, where he frequently spends parts of his weekends.” His security staff also allegedly had to use SWAT-level equipment just to access an unresponsive Patel last year.
We’ve all been briefed on the reported drug problems among Tr*mp’s cabinet, so Patel is hardly the first to face these sorts of allegations. But the optics are bad, and it’s reaching a point where politicians across party lines are trying to stage a public intervention. Well, less an intervention than a call to fire Patel—who himself has irresponsibly purged the FBI of several non-MAGA-oriented members since the start of his tenure—and replace him with someone who isn’t a walking security breach.
Most saliently, of course, all this looks very bad for Tr*mp, whose brother died of complications due to alcoholism and led Tr*mp himself down a path of sobriety… or at least California sobriety. At this point, Patel probably knows his days are numbered and is probably using his history of being “unreachable” to pull a George Costanza and avoid the inevitable by simply not being present for the firing.
But he can’t stay in the Poodle Room forever. Eventually he’ll have to face the music, and dance. Or failing that, maybe consider going to rehab?
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